Listening To Her

This Blog is part of the Men Say No Blogathon, encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women. 

More entries to the Blogathon can be read at www.mustbol.in/blogathon. Join further conversation on facebook.com/delhiyouth & twitter.com/mustbol

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted, and go...

This is one of Beyonce Knowles' best loved songs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWpsOqh8q0M&ob=av2e).

Drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me.

I like the song. I like it because of the lyrics. It's a woman trying to imagine herself in a man's shoes. The stanzas oscillate between what she understands a man generally is- his daily activities, the fun he has with friends, etc.; and how she sees him treating a woman- imagining herself as a more sensitive man than the one in front of her, than her partner.

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts...

How he takes her for granted-

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

And a man she envisions, whose love is true and pure and selfless, because she being a woman has seen one side of the picture-

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man...

Somewhere it is also telling of the freedom and mobility that men enjoy a lot more by default, by virtue of their Gender identity. And then, how this freedom tends to make some men impatient, and some reckless- a quality that is taken for granted, and many a time celebrated as ideal male behaviour.

Yes there are many ways of interpreting a work of art. And this is my interpretation of this song. Because I think that although I've met a large number of men who respect women, there are still quite a few men, who I wish would step into a woman's shoes sometimes to understand just how she feels when he is derisive to her.

Taken for Granted

This Blog is part of the Men Say No Blogathon, encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women.
More entries to the Blogathon can be read at www.mustbol.in/blogathon. Join further conversation on facebook.com/delhiyouth & twitter.com/mustbol

Today I overheard a conversation in the bus. The public bus I usually travel in.

A lady was telling her friend that she'd recently seen a man making a young boy get up from his seat, and have his wife sit there in his place. The boy was around 8-10 years old, she said. The man justified his act when she questioned him, saying that he was a senior official at the Transport Corporation which is running this bus.

I wouldn't say he was being courteous to the wife. I'd say he was being uncourteous to the little boy. That is, given the reason he did.

Firstly, why didn't he make an able-bodied full-grown adult get up? Why take advantage of an innocent child, to display his chivalry?

Though I'm treading in the area of commenting on a situation that I havn't witnessed myself, it didn't sound right.

In fact, there are many ways men try to be “gentlemen”, and I wish they didn't try so hard. Because many of them are associated with stereotypes of how they think women are. I've seen men who wouldn't share hard drinks with women. I still understand when people of two generations back do such a thing, but young men in their twenties- give me a break!

And then there's lifting heavy objects. Elderly men offer to do such things for young women. And then there's the issue of intelligence- I've heard about male electricians and plumbers telling lady clients, “Saab aayenge toh baat karenge” (Let's have a detailed discussion when Sir comes home), before explaining the problem that has occured.

I do appreciate the genuine courtesy of men who help. But really, I think we should take another look at the ideas at the back of our heads around what is masculine and feminine. Alongside, perhaps many men would stop twisting these ideas to throw their weight around- just like the public bus incident mentioned above.

Given all the discussions found in popular media, about traits of men and women that attract partners for each, I'd once asked my cousin, what are the things a girl might do, that will irritate boys around her. And he said, it really comes down to the individual girl and boy concerned, the situation, the time, the space- how can you generalise?

And it made sense to me. There are no fixed answers to what and who and how men or women are. There shouldn't be. Because it leads to hollow assumptions, and expectations that in the end bind individuals and restrict personalities. And it lets one sex assume it's the protector, or the more powerful one over the other- however that plays out in behaviour.

Melodic Medicine

Said I loved you but I lied,
This is more than love I feel inside...

Passing thought

Just as I pass my birth anniversary every year, I cross my death anniversary too. I just don't know when!

Automan Empire

The capital city has many empires. Apart from the known bureaucrats, politicians, legal administrators, land developers, corporate media, and some more, one in particular has been bugging me for a few years now. It is of the auto-drivers (automen, coz there's probably one female driver among millions- one I'd read of in the news ages back).

They come in many forms, and mostly beastly. Once in a blue moon I'll come across a driver who is willing to put his meter down- something whose charge was increased 2 years back. Or one who'll drop you to your destination two steps away after you've paid, coz they want to reaching comfortably. If prices of basic essentials increased, they did for all of us, not just for them. If their licenses are steeply priced, why should the passenger suffer? They should go to the government on behalf of their union- why harass us passengers??

Charging whatever they want- like they've fixed the rates from spot to spot. They seem most demonic in times of need, like when you have to rush home during heavy menstrual bleeding, or an embarrassing malfunction of wardrobe, or simply at rush hour. And when you ask them why they didn't go by meter, they mumble something looking away. Or they blame traffic, or cry that they won't get passengers from your destination- like any of these is your headache.

They have the guts to laugh on your face when you threaten them with police complaints, and some tell you "not be seen in this area again"- deserved some mob violence that one. Talk about attitude!

The time taken in bargaining with them could get them much more business, and also otherwise add to the GDP, since others would get to work on time.

On the days the city went out marching against corruption, these guys confidently charged twice and thrice as much. Arre service to the nation!

What to do ji what to do?!!

Just a song, yet more!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OfsZyYPLoI

Watch the balloon swaying, and listen carefully to the first few notes.

Doesn't it sound exactly like a mood that is confused, yet eager? Somewhat like, I want to, but I don't want to... moving forth, moving back... like no, yes... like I-restricted-myself-but-on-second-thoughts.... Smart isn't it, the composition?

I never really cared about this song. But it came bounding up to me and became my earworm a few days ago, when I felt a void of someone who could take better control of a situation that I'd been handling, but felt I couldn't save from falling apart. (On hindsight, it wasn't really falling apart- I was growing up!)

Later I heard some more songs of Lady Antebellum. Wasn't impressed.

But there's something about this song- it's one of those things that match the silence of the night, the motion of an uninterrupted car.

And one of the best voices for the dead of the night, as well as when you're up with the lark- Lara Fabian's. The power of it! Her voice does so many things within me it's not funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFiUw9XdezU

I'll talk about some more brilliant music later. For now, see ya!

Coke Provokes an Idea

Coke studio has launched on Indian TV this month. I started watching it a few days after the launch, and that first episode pulled me back to every other episode that week.
Though my friends say that the original season was a lot better, and I do recall watching an enthralling performance of the Pakistani series, the fusion of forms is really something. The sounds bring together geographical terrains of diverse kinds, and mix moods in quite delightful ways. Another thing that impresses me is the visuals- the space is limited, the song has considerable length, and the challenge is to hold the viewer's attention. The way the images move with the tunes, at least hold my attention.
And while watching it one night, an analogy struck me.
One day many years later, maybe if I start a show which carefully blends humour from world over, I could call it- Joke Studio!
Kiddin! & Kudos to the wonderful singers!